Blog Hoppers: And now it's August

Joy-ful: feeling, expressing, or causing great pleasure and happiness....

We just moved. (I'm not sure if you've heard anything about it....but we did.)

It was a whole thing for us. We are not the moving type. Or the wait for stuff to happen type. Or the not exactly according to plan type.

So it was very hard and pushed us over the comfort cliff, way passed any resemblance of a comfort zone. Non-zoned territory. 

In the middle of it all, when I felt lost and out of control, I hunkered down and put all my feelers up to catch anything that may sneak passed. And I totally forgot to trust God with this move and the people I moved with...

So once I pulled my head out of the sand where I was wallowing in fear, anxiety, and loneliness...and covet-ness.... I found that He was still waiting for me to trust Him with the move AND the settling in. I trusted we were supposed to move here but totally forgot to trust Him once we got here. 

I don't know about you, but when I do it on my own I get all bitter and whiney and ungrateful. It's not pretty. The beginning of this summer was just not pretty. And the crying, oh the crying....it was just out of control. 

Once I remembered that I was going to trust God with ALL the people and the stuff and told Him "Okay, I'm here. I don't know why and I'm a little touchy, but you brought me here. I trust you have a reason and will sit and wait (even though I don't want to)...because I trust you have prepared a place for my family... Please show me the 'place'." 

I trust. Because that's all I got. I tried the other stuff...(remember the "not pretty" from above....)

Every morning this week I reminded Him I was trusting. (In case he forgot) Each day I looked for why we were here. 

And we made it to August. Looking back, the month of July was full of good family time, time with just me and handsome, new friends, a possible new church, volleyball, basketball, baseball, bowling, and cows.

So maybe I just needed to stop telling God why it wasn't right and it was messed up and how to fix it. And start each day with the words...I TRUST YOU.

I started using the first5 app from Proverbs 31 ministries and it has been excellent. Just what I need to start the day remembering to TRUST. I also recently listened to Lysa Terkeurst (president of Proverbs 31) talk about spending the first 15 minutes with God. 5 praying, 5 reading the bible, and 5 listening to worship music. The 5 minutes go by so fast and they are the best minutes of my day. There is something about good worship music that pulls me out of the funk.

This blog is called Joyfully full of it. Sometimes I lean heavily on the Joyful and a lot of times I lean heavily on the full of it... I'm working towards heavily full of Joy... That's easier to type than it is to grasp. But today I'm feeling the joyful...

I have teamed up with several beautiful women who blog about life and love and learning and listening.... click HERE to see what Jamie has to say and follow the links back to here.

Joyfully full of it.
Tiff

How my investors save me

I have learned that I still handle stress and hurt the exact same way I did 20 years ago when I decided I was DONE being his good girl that just got trampled on. DONE. You know what I do? 

RUN from God!

I'm supposed to read my bible....nope! I put that down for 10 years. I'm supposed to go to church? Nope....stepped away from that for 10 years. I'm supposed to love others? Nope....that proves to be too painful. 

It explains why I switched schools 3 times during my 4 1/2 years in college. It explains why I never invested fully in any group of people. I can't do hard. I don't want to try. And I am certainly not going to cry or pray about it when I could RUN!

We closed today on our home of 13 years. The home I brought my babies home to. The Lewis Compound, where we were going to live forever! 

We expected it to happen June 8th...didn't. Then we were "guaranteed" by the lender it would be before the end of June. (That man made so many empty hurtful promises to everyone involved including the buyers.)

So now, it's July 10th. And we are driving to the closing. And I feel sick and angry and bristled. Being hurt is not cool. Learning life lessons is not cool. 

Through the long process some women have really invested in me and prayed for me and reached out. Which is exactly what I needed them to do, (but I was for dang sure not gonna ask.)

And I wasn't asking God anymore either. This pain was so similar to when my dad was dying and my family was falling apart. Just like then, I was tired of praying about it and making hard decisions to honor Him and put my family first when it all felt like every decision was slamming back in my face! I was ready to RUN. Bristled. Angry. Hurt. (And not feeling very nice). 

But I'm not gonna run this time. I'm not going to turn away from God and reject the people that are selfish and hurtful. I'm not going to stop reading my bible and seeking His truth and striving to honor Him when I feel like I can't get myself off the floor. 

You know why? Because of my soul sister and my Holla mommas. These women who didn't forget me or let me be alone. They reached out at odd (but perfect) times. They stayed the course when I was drying up on the inside. They KNEW how to love me when I don't want to be loved. They thought I was worth their investment of time and love and prayer. 

They are the hands and feet of Jesus. They carried me to his feet instead of letting me stay slumped against the wall. They carried me with prayers and encouragement and real friendship. 

I still feel a little broken and raw. 

But I'm not running this time. Thank you soul sister and Holla mommas for holding me up when I couldn't handle it anymore. You honor Jesus with your friendship. I am eternally grateful!!

Joyfully full of it....one step at a time. 

My soul sister has beautiful words this month about her people. Jump over to her post about her village via the link below. 

https://wheretheredfearnsgrow.wordpress.com/2015/07/10/village-people/

Tiffany

Blog Hoppers: July and the Summer Blahs

July Blog Hoppers post..see the end of this post for the link to Jennifer's post this month. Hop around until you get back here. Be inspired, be tickled, and become a chef....all within this circle!

(Debbie Downer took over for the first part of this post...you might want to skip down until you see the numbers......)

(Thought you would like to see that my people feel the same)

It's July. What the heck? A whole month has passed and all I have to show for it is a good tan.

Summer. Remember when we would sit around all day and eat cucumbers and ranch and chicken pot pies. And watch Anne of Green Gables.... No responsibilities, no baseball practice, no work.

I have friends that look forward to summer beginning in September every year. They can't wait for their babies to be home from school so they can enjoy being together and adventuring without school to cramp their schedule. And bless their hearts....they really mean it!

I'd love to be that excited about summer and all the possibilities that go with it.

BUT that's not what summer is to me.

Don't get me wrong. I mostly like my kids some days. (that's a joke....it's not that often......) But for us, summer is unscheduled and erratic. I still have to work. But instead of having a 2 hour commute by myself to listen to whatever I want on the radio, I have my two people with me. They are BIGS now so they have an opinion about what we listen to and where they sit. (Exhausting).

Of course we moved and my total commute is only 2 minutes...but I still don't get those two minutes alone.  They are always with me. Always talking/fighting/eating. (exhausting).

I still can't get us out the door before 9. It's like summer hits and I can't seem to get it together. Yesterday I sat in my book reading (because its summer and that's what you do) and then looked up and realized it was 8:58 and the children were not awake and ready to head out the door.

My body thinks that its summer and we can relax and chill and take or leave the responsibilities that sneak up on us.  My mind stresses out because I still have to work and take these people with me and feed them 3 times a day. (all the food...and snacking...)

Top it off with a move and you have the SUMMER BLAHS.

We've been here for almost a month. I haven't been back into Tyler. I feel good about how much I have saved this month on gas. But the alone-ness and too much together-ness is wearing me down. I miss my Friday with my Holla Mommas (and no children). I miss looking forward to picking them up from school to see what someone else fed them and how much they missed me.

It's July...just July. We have two more months of this "bliss" to get through.

So, I thought I'd share some non-Debbie Downer thoughts. I hope you aren't Summer Blah-ing...but if you are, chin up....you are in good company.

1. Beth Moore has released a 6-week bible study that I'm going to tackle in a couple of week.
It's called LIVING FREE: Learning to Pray God's word. You can get a copy here. I feel like it may be just what I need to fight the summer Blahs.

2. Tyler Museum of Art is having a lego exhibit on Friday, July 10. If you have a lego-lover, I would suggest you take them to the air conditioned museum and feel very fancy and cultured. Learn more here.

3. Michael is playing in the state baseball tournament in New Caney in a couple of weeks. I don't know how that helps you with your summer blahs, but I thought it needed to be mentioned....

(He's the one on the right. The other one is cute too....just not Michael).

4. I read a fantastic book series last month....waiting for the last book to be released in September. Of course it's young adult fiction. (no s-e-x) And the subject matter is fantasy (magic, witches, fairies), which may turn some people off. But once again, I found myself up until after midnight reading and then again from 3-5 reading a couple of times while reading this series. The author is Sarah J. Maas. The series is Throne of Glass.

(My brother wasn't interested based on the cover...)

I read Kiera Cass' series The Elite last summer and stayed up hours being stuck in the kingdom with the main character. The Elite Series doesn't have magic stuff in it. Just a girl that gets to go to a castle to fall in love with a prince. 

5. I'm also reading Trim Healthy Mama. It's not a diet but an eating plan. I have enjoyed the writing and agreed with a lot of what they say (which is biblically based). It is a long book, so i'm not officially on the diet (but it's not a diet...) because I need to finish the book to get it all down. It seems to be more reasonable for getting my family on board. Nothing is completely cut out... except maybe alcohol.... I feel like after reading the "Biblical basis" chapter that there won't be a "But beer is okay" chapter. (I'll let you know if I find it when I finish the book..)

I hope you find time to read and love your people this month.

What books are on your "To Read" list for the summer??

Hop on over to Jennifer's blog here for some real peace and inspiration.

Joyfully full of it.
Tiff

Holding Promises

We have three towels at our house.

We have three Forks at our house. 

We have three days left at our house. 

So many things are happening in such a short amount of time. I'm very excited about where are going and overwhelmed with blessings and joy for where we have been. 

God has been so faithful to my family during this transition. But it is so easy to forget to focus on other things to get overwhelmed in the little things. 

So today as I drive out to the new house with yet another load, I'm reminded that he promises to stay with me. He promises to prepare a way for us. He promises that he will always be with me.

I have this prism hanging from my rearview mirror. It is left over from my ceiling fan in my bedroom when I was growing up. Somehow this piece of glass has made it through all these years. 

In the morning it's shoots rainbows across my car. In the afternoon it shoots rainbows in my eyes. 

This morning I caught a rainbow in my hand in the palm of my hand. I am reminded that he holds me in the palm of his hand. I'm looking today at these rainbows as promises from him.

No matter the storm you face, hold tight to his promises. 

Joyfully full of it,

Tiffany

Blog Hopper: June - Summer Accessory

(See the Blog Hopper link at the bottom for the next blog in our circle)

We leave for the beach in two weeks. Two weeks!

I'm almost ready...I think. We should have everything moved to the new house finally. We should have enough shirts and bathing suits for the week. We should have everything we need for the annual beach pictures (but maybe not the right color scheme...sorry Amber). We should be prepared and have everything we need. 

As I start to stress a little about moving, end of school, michael graduating, then vacationing, I realize there is one accessory that I have overlooked. It snuck up behind me. It's ready to go on vacation with me. 

It's my cellulite. My thigh biscuits. The terrible thunder thighs that I've had for my whole adult life. 

How could I have overlooked them? When did they expand to include my tummy? Why didn't this bother me until I started really beach preparing? 

Two weeks is not enough time to do a dang thing about it!! You can't even recover from surgery that quick. So, it's going with me. 

And guess who else cares about it? No one. Not another person going on the trip cares about the state of my thighs. 

I have two beautiful sisters going on the trip. Two gorgeous women that love deeply and bring me great joy.

Amber has known me her whole life. She has been with me through thick and thin. (Literally....right there with me pre and post children). She puts up with me and even answers my calls. If anyone has dirt on me, it's her. And I feel pretty certain she doesn't look at my thighs and think....Thank you Jesus for dad's thighs and long waist. ;)

Katie is my sister in law. Katie and I have talked about my thighs. Katie could care less about the thighs that plague me. If she wasn't so polite, she would have already asked me to drop the subject.

I have decided to emprace my accessory with confidence and pride. I am not as fit as I wanted to be. But I get to spend a week on the beach with my people. My family has relocated almost officially and we are surviving. Handsome has been fantastic and level headed. And our love and friendship is solid. God has been so faithful. 

Sometimes your accessories don't matter as much as you think. Your people love you for who you are.  Our Heavenly Father looks at you and takes great delight in you, His beautiful creation. 

Chose to celebrate you for you....thunder thighs and all!!

Joyfully full of it,

Tiff

Beginning this month, I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women.  Click here and see what Bella has to say this month. 

Nice People

Its the end of an era. The end of sanity. The end of school. The end of elementary school for one of them. The end of life in Tyler.

And I'm overwhelemed today. It's that dumb feeling. Girls understand. I just don't think I can handle one more thing.

Of course, that means God stepped in and showed me kindness in ways I did not expect.

Little Man is so over this moving and unsettled lifestyle we are currently in the the throws of. And I can't blame him. He keeps forgetting things and getting lower than usual grades...and crying, oh the crying. He feels overwhelmed. Useless. DONE.

As the end of the year approaches, so do the projects. He has an extra credit project that he simply forgot about. And we don't have a computer and printer at home so he could not crank it out last night (last minute) for today. We decided to admit defeat and drop this extra credit. We emailed the teacher explaining our situation and that we have decided to take this added stress off our plate.

She replied quickly. She replied with words that encouraged little man. And he got a second wind. It was a beautiful thing to watch. This woman I don't even know, cares for my kid at the time of year when we are all just done.

Thank you sweet teacher for caring when we didn't think you would and for showing my kiddo how to be strong and courageous when you are ready to quit. He saw that she cares. He saw that she believes in him. And he decided to step it up and not be done but to take on the challenge and hold his head high.

I needed someone to be nice to my kid this morning. I needed someone to say, I understand and got your back. I needed someone to have a tri-fold and give it to little man so he could complete his project and feel proud of his accomplishment.

We might just make it the 12 days left of the school year.

I hope you are encouraged by someone just being kind because it's the right thing to do.

Joyfully full of it.

Tiff

Too many toothbrushes

I felt the motivation today. I've been waiting since December. No, not working out. Ha. Good one. 

Packing. Cleaning. Purging. 

Because you know what, we are moving. It's like I haven't known for the last 6 months and today I felt the gravity of moving all of the stuff our life has accumulated and oh my word! 

I'm starting The 7 Experiment in two weeks at our church. (By Jen Hatmaker). I started ahead of time thinking I would really pray about how to lead/facilitate/be used by God. I thought I would simply slim down the number of shoes and maybe clothes in my closet. I thought I'd find guilt of the excessive stuff and minimize slightly. I thought I had it all figured out. 

I'm figuring out that Jesus really does not care about the number of shoes in my closet. He cares about the time I think about/talk about/shop about these shoes. How is that time forwarding His kingdom? 

It's not that my excess could be directed to those less fortunate. (That's absolutely true and a part of it for sure). It's about how my shoes (or clothes or books or food or phone or toothbrushes or tv) take some ridiculous priority. 

So join us at Fbc South Campus starting Wednesday, March 18th. Let's figure out what to do about it. I'm not looking for guilt. I'm looking for hope and blessing when my idols fall and the one who loves me first is put in His proper place!

Joyfully full of all the stuff!!

Tiff